Hiss off: Adopt a cockroach or scorpion to forget a loathed ex-loved one

San Francisco Zoo is offering the burned and spurned the chance to “adopt” a hissing cockroach or giant scorpion in honour of their special ex-someone for Valentine’s Day. The zoo is highlighting two of its less-desirable inhabitants through the adopt-an-animal programme that is usually used to raise money for the care of more cuddly or attractive creatures, such as penguins, lions and pandas.

These invertebrates are aggressive, active, and alarmingly nocturnal. Much like your low-life ex, they are usually found in and around low-elevation valleys where they dig elaborate burrows or ‘caves’.

The San Francisco Zoo’s promotional page

It has a Valentine’s special comparing the creepy characteristics of Madagascar hissing cockroaches and the giant hairy scorpions native to the Southwest U.S. to the ways of heart-breaking mammals with two legs. For £30 and up, donors can adopt a scorpion and have the zoo send a certificate and stuffed stinger to the person who inspired the adoption. The cockroach valentine that the zoo says represents “the detritus of your love life” costs £15.

Odd News San Francisco Zoo